...I feel my mental state dwindling. I feel myself becoming more and more unhealthy. I almost feel defeated. This weekend... I did absolutely nothing. Not the kind of nothing where you've had a long, tiring week and just want to relax and unwind. No. It was dreadful. I didn't even step outside for some fresh air. I'm too afraid to step out there and see the cars zooming by. Going somewhere, anywhere. Somewhere I'm not. Anywhere I'd rather be.
I feel stuck.
I've gotten into a routine I'm afraid I can't shake. I watch as my friends or used-to-be's go places and do things and move forward. And I'm here. Stuck. I'm not sure how or what I need to do. But for now, I just feel the lust for life slipping from my body, onto the dull floor of this dull apartment where I lead my dull life.
I want change.
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