June.3.2013

I'm not sure what it is, but I feel great today!

It could very well be from all the energy I have (I'll credit it to pushing my exercising into turbo-drive). And what's great about it is, is that it's not that kind of synthetic energy you get from chugging Red Bulls. It's like an even balance of good feeling and drive. I haven't felt this type of energy in a while, so it is a welcomed surprise.

My money situation is also looking up. If I can manage to keep leaving my debit card at home, I'll be well off for my birthday, which is in a month in a half. I'm going to try to take on extra hours at work so that I can treat myself to a little shopping spree then.

I pray that good times stay ahead for me. I've been working harder on my goals and striving to do the things and be the person I know I can be (cliche, I know). No more letting opportunities pass by without an attempt. No more wasting time. I'm proud of myself thus far, and I plan to continue.

I'm focused.

As the day winds down to a close, I look back on it and think it was actually a good day. Things going on in my life would make me believe it shouldn't be that way. But I'm happy. My money situation hasn't gotten much better, but I'm confident things will turn up. Things could be worse. I have enough to pay my rent, so that is a blessing in itself. I had to stop my 30 day challenges due to lack of time, but I'm starting it up again from day one tomorrow. I won't let missing out demotivate me as it has before in the past. I'm going to do this. And by "this" I mean everything. I'm going to accomplish a goal. I won't falter. I'm focused.

Money, money, money

I have been behind on my finances lately. My bank account is not liking me, and that has a lot to do with my frivolous spending as of late. It's hard to resist a friend's offering of going out when I've had a stressful week. Or not buying that pricer bottle of wine when I just want to relax. I end up telling myself that I deserve a night out, I deserve an expensive glass wine. But when the smoke clears, I'm kicking myself. There's not much that I can think of to curb my spending other than cutting myself off completely.

I'm not going to be spending any money for a solid month; in less of course of emergencies. This is going to be a struggle for me because I have become accustom to carefree spending. But, it's become necessary to put a limit on myself. Having just enough money to pay bills and buy some groceries is not cutting it. It's been months since I last deposited something into my savings. Also, my birthday is soon, and I would like to not have to worry about how much I'm able to spend without chipping into rent money.

How did I get here? I just want to be able to look at my statement and not cringe or pump my fists into the air screaming, "WHY?!"

I used to be great with money, but the stress I was going through during the end of yesteryear (which carried over to the beginning of this year) was the driving force behind my reckless spending. I get an unhealthy amount of joy from walking out of the mall with shopping bags, or pressing the 'Checkout' button on shops online. I'm a fashion girl, and nothing cheers me up like some good retail therapy... other that food that is. Food is comforting in times of high stress. But not just any food. Instead of cooking at home, a large chunk of my meals this first half of the year have been take-out. I didn't have time to cook with all of my self-loathing and stressing out. I was too busy picking out movies and TV shows to watch on Netflix. In any case, I need to get back on track.

Maybe by stating my plans here I will make more of a conscience effort to stop my uncontrollable spending. It's worth a shot.